Yard waste: Frequently encountered beyond the pale, Yard Waste has been known to occupy the homes of those residing within the pale (see also: failed attempts at leaving the pale). While little is known about the motives for displaying Yard Waste within one’s home, this unhealthy practice may be an expression of a latent subconscious desire to leave the confines of the pale. Those who attempt to recreate what exists beyond the pale within their homes would be better off wandering beyond the pale.
Objects are considered Yard Waste if they are in the house even though social norm dictates that they be located outdoors. These objects serve no rational purpose inside.
Objects naturally accumulating in the area surrounding a home (yard) should not be considered Yard Waste unless their presence disturbs those who reside in the home surrounded by said yard. Under no circumstances should one drag Yard Waste into his or her home to conceal it from view, as dementia and bizarre injuries often result from such self-conscious behavior.
The presence of Yard Waste in the home should never be confused with hoarding. Those who hoard experience the joys derived from compulsively collecting large quantities of the same item, while the practice of hiding or displaying Yard Waste in one’s home is unpleasant for everyone involved.
When encountering Yard Waste within the home of someone else, personal safety should be the paramount concern of visitors. Under no circumstances should a visitor attempt to remove Yard Waste from a host’s home, as confrontations regarding said Yard Waste always end in violence. Furthermore, a guest who encounters Yard Waste inside the home of a host should take great care to avoid injuries.
If the risk to pets and small children becomes so great that a guest is compelled to remove Yard Waste from someone else’s home, an individual protective device will be required.
Role in dysfunctional family directly relates to likelihood that a guest will attempt to remove Yard Waste from the home of his or her host or parents. See also: Dysfunctional Families, Kin, hero.